What HR Wants for Christmas

Looking for a gift for your favorite HR lady/gentleman?

Here’s what we at Cezanne HR think they’d probably like to find in their stocking on Christmas morning:

A Crisis-Free Christmas Party

‘Tis the season to be jolly—but while employees are letting their hair down at the festive corporate bash, HR people are nervously crossing their fingers and hoping the Christmas party passes without incident. There’s the ever-present possibility that: 1) Karen from accounts will be found in flagrante with David from marketing in the office supply cupboard; 2) An alcohol-fuelled employee will tell their manager what they really think about them; 3) Someone will make a photocopy… sans trousers.

Dear Santa, ringing in the New Year without the prospect of a disciplinary hearing would be very nice, thank you!

Peace and Goodwill Among Employees

It’s Christmas and joy is all around! …well at least that’s what we’d all hope for, anyway. Staff bickering can take up a lot of unnecessary HR time (managers come barging through HR’s door demanding someone be instantly fired—or worse, announce to HR that they have just told someone their employment has been terminated).

Employees come to HR’s door complaining their manager is giving them too much work/not enough money/a hard time. And we won’t even talk about the colleagues who let a personality clash get the better of them and end up having a screaming match in the office.

ThreeWiseMenDear Santa, if everyone could get on just for a few days it would be so nice. PS: Please also give all managers a copy of the staff handbook with the disciplinary procedures page highlighted.

Technology with Tinsel

How many vacation days do I have left?
When is the next round of performance reviews due?
How many sick days has my team taken in the last month?

The list of questions from employees and managers is endless. HR people are drowning in paperwork, struggling to get their nose out of numerous spreadsheets and are running out of time to go and buy the turkey.

Dear  Santa, please can we have an online HR system with all the (jingle) bells and whistles so that we can streamline the people processes and spend time next year concentrating on the strategic stuff.

Wise Men (or Women)

All year round, HR has been turning up at the board’s (stable) door, bearing gifts. May we present you with this talent management strategy? Please accept the HR data you need to inform your business decisions. Here, with our compliments, is an employee engagement program designed to help the business get the best out of its people. And is HR appreciated for the long journey it’s been on and the offerings it brings to the table? Most of the time: no. In fact, poor, old HR often struggles to win the respect in the business and has been given a whole lot of criticism this year.

Dear Santa, if you’d like to bring us some Christmas cheer, how about organizing some senior management support and a better understanding of the value HR can bring?

A less Scrooge-Like Budget

When the finances are being divided, the HR department is often pretty low standing. Marketing gets the big bucks, IT rarely has to argue for investment, but HR tends to be fall into the Bob Cratchit category and has to scratch around with a budget that’s frankly lacking in Christmas sparkle. Scrooge is alive and well in the finance department and although HR can always hope, he’s unlikely to turn up on Christmas Eve with a bag full of gold coins.

Dear Santa, we know everyone’s had to tighten their belt this year, but things are looking up and we’d really appreciate it if you could find a bit extra next year.

The Cezanne HR blog will be back in January. In the meantime, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all our readers!

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